This is my sweet boy, moomoo, one of my first rescues, him and his 2 brothers I rescued. Stormi sadly passed away, but Pumpkin is still with us. Say hi to this crazy lover boy! <3

Hi dear stars, My name is Hope, and I am writing from San Antonio, TX. I just got here 3 days ago with one of my best friends.. Best friends are really where that story will start, because he claims he is in love with me. Love... I can say for sure he does not, and I do not love him. Again, story for another day. I have planted myself here because my mom is suffering mentally and physically, and she needs her daughter by her side, which I have chosen for a very long time to stay out of my family's life, but the weight of the Universe demands otherwise, so here I am. I was living in Nashville, TN, for almost 3 years, the best years of my life. I want to go back to those days, but sadly, that is being pushed until after EMT boot camp. Then in 2023, I planted myself in Phoenix, AZ, for another almost 3 years to be with my dad, but that turned out how I expected. I am always left abandoned, no matter how hard I love or help. I have grown to carry myself amazingly, which is why I am now making this blog, because as I am getting older, 26 today, I am planning to end my life around 33-35years old, and I would like to be able to share my journey because maybe just maybe I will stay on this earth a little longer. Maybe just maybe this is where my life of love, connections, and so much more begins.. I have had a very rough childhood, and growing up didn't make it easier. I lost a lot and was left alone with no one but the voices in my head and voices in the walls for too long that I just didn't want to seek out to connect with anyone, fall in love, nothing. I didn't want it? I think I just thought I didn't deserve it. I searched and searched. wished and wished. prayed and prayed. I got no one or nothing, and when I would try to reach out or put myself out there to attract, nothing, no one. At this time, my heart is shattered into so many pieces that my bones hurt, and my body shakes when I am loved or touched in any way. Even by me, don't I deserve happiness and love? Shouldn't I reciprocate that back? I break down crying all the time. Every time I go out, I see love between so many couples, I see love between families, and here I am without that. I don't ever wish bad things, ever. but I get super hurt and jealous. I can't fix myself. Why can I find my partner who should be able to help fix me? Where is my family? I want love so bad, so freaking bad. that every time I try to receive it, I push it away or switch it up so that they and I think I can't nor do I want it. I am a sad fallen star waiting for you to just come find me, or hopefully, I will fall into your warm palms and say this is finally home. It is very late 2:21 am, and I am hurting and exhausted. goodnight xo.